Do you find the issues in your relationship trigger your mental health?
Perhaps more so over the past few years? Covid-19 pandemic – followed by an influx of political instability and a cost-of-living crisis – has left us all feeling more wobbly than usual.
These moments can be incredibly difficult to navigate, especially when they occur within the context of a relationship. These experiences can trigger a wide range of emotions, including sadness, anger, and even shame. But it’s important to remember that these feelings are normal and valid and how you manage these and move forwards is how you will find light at the end of the tunnel.
Here are some of the triggers to look out for alongside my top 5 ways to look after your mental health in your relationship.
Rejection
When we experience rejection, it’s easy to internalise the message that we’re not good enough or that we’re somehow flawed. The truth is that rejection is often more about the other person than it is about us.
Remind yourself that you are valuable and worthy, regardless of whether someone else chooses to accept you.
Betrayal
Betrayal can be challenging to navigate, as it can leave us feeling deeply hurt by someone we trusted. It’s important to give yourself permission to feel all the emotions that come with betrayal, while also acknowledging that we deserve to be treated with respect and honesty in all our relationships. It may take time to rebuild trust, but it is possible with open communication and a willingness to work through the issues together.
Unjust Treatment
If your partner is treating you unfairly or disrespectfully, it’s important to speak up and establish boundaries. Start by calmly and assertively expressing how their behaviour is affecting you and what you need from them in order to feel respected and valued. Use “I” statements instead of “you” statements to avoid sounding accusatory. For example, instead of saying “You’re always like this with me,” you could say “I feel hurt when you do/say X.”
Being Ignored
Feeling ignored by your partner can be hurtful and frustrating. However, it’s important to remember that your partner’s behaviour is not necessarily a reflection of your worth or value as a person. Rather than lashing out or withdrawing, try to approach the situation with curiosity. Ask your partner why they are behaving this way, and try to understand their perspective. You may discover that there is an underlying issue that needs to be addressed.
Challenged Beliefs
Finally, when our beliefs are challenged, it can be difficult to know how to move forward. It’s important to remember that growth doesn’t always feel comfortable and that it’s okay to question our beliefs and perspectives. If you approach your relationship with a growth mindset, you can open yourself up to new possibilities and experiences.
Final Thoughts
Dealing with triggers in a relationship is never easy, but it is possible. I understand sometimes it’s not always easy to get these conversations started but maybe try easing yourselves in, perhaps pick up on one example that happened recently, be specific and give them some ideas on what they could do differently. Remember that your partner may not be aware of how their behaviour is affecting you, so it’s important to communicate clearly and respectfully.
Whenever you’re ready, here is how I can help:
If you’re looking for the first step to improve your relationship I’d recommend starting with this affordable course:
The Couples in Conflict Plan: This plan will equip you with tools which will make you more resilient when it comes to some of these triggers in life and relationships. It will teach you to communicate your needs and concerns in a constructive way, set healthy boundaries, and approach the situation with curiosity and empathy, which will in turn build a stronger, more fulfilling relationship with your partner.
Join hundreds of others who have improved their relationships here.
